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Aug. 22nd, 2007 05:14 pmI have recently been giving a lot of thought to the issue of consorts. Every fighter and consort has their own idea of what a consort and inspiration should be. It changes from couple to couple and that is only right. But I don't have a consort. I have a husband, but not a consort or an inspiration. He is my inspiration in many ways, but not for fighting in the society. I have only met one other female fighter in a similar situation, and that is Mayorka (sp?), who's boyfriend is not in the SCA. Every other woman fighter I know has a significant other who at least plays in the SCA, and most often who fights.
So what is a girl to do? "Just find someone" doesn't work for me. I grew up with fantastical ideals of honor and chivalry. One doesn't "just find" someone to fight for. There has to be something special there. The easy way out is to find that in another woman. Someone with whom I connect but who is not a romantic interest. Someone who will pay attention to my fights, be there to help me if needed, and who has all the nurturing goodness that our society seems to expect of women. The problem is that I, like most other fighters, dream of ruling in my own right. And then having a female consort is out. So this is, at best, a temporary solution.
So what about another fighter, and fighting for each others' honor? Perhaps when I am a better fighter I can deal with this, but there is something in me that rebels at fighting for someone who can kick my ass. It just isn't right.
Some other friend. This is what I will end up with, of course, a guy friend who doesn't fight, who is either unattached or has a significant other who won't mind. But of course, on top of this I am picky and expect some things in return. Like I would really appreciate having someone around while I fight (not the whole time, but at least occasionally showing up and caring about what I am doing). Am I being too picky? Perhaps. But I feel like in order to fit with our game the ideas of consort and inspiration should actually mean something. Some sort of love, some sort of attachment. If all else fails, some sort of meaning.
So what is a girl to do? "Just find someone" doesn't work for me. I grew up with fantastical ideals of honor and chivalry. One doesn't "just find" someone to fight for. There has to be something special there. The easy way out is to find that in another woman. Someone with whom I connect but who is not a romantic interest. Someone who will pay attention to my fights, be there to help me if needed, and who has all the nurturing goodness that our society seems to expect of women. The problem is that I, like most other fighters, dream of ruling in my own right. And then having a female consort is out. So this is, at best, a temporary solution.
So what about another fighter, and fighting for each others' honor? Perhaps when I am a better fighter I can deal with this, but there is something in me that rebels at fighting for someone who can kick my ass. It just isn't right.
Some other friend. This is what I will end up with, of course, a guy friend who doesn't fight, who is either unattached or has a significant other who won't mind. But of course, on top of this I am picky and expect some things in return. Like I would really appreciate having someone around while I fight (not the whole time, but at least occasionally showing up and caring about what I am doing). Am I being too picky? Perhaps. But I feel like in order to fit with our game the ideas of consort and inspiration should actually mean something. Some sort of love, some sort of attachment. If all else fails, some sort of meaning.
