gadzooks - starbucks employees are cads

Went to starbucks, went to zoo, saw pretty cheetahs and kangaroo, pandas were sleeping - boring! the cheetah was rolling around on the ground showing her belly, but I don't think she wanted belly scratches. Kangaroo had baby kangaroo in pouch - very cute. Mexican wolves were cool too, and the otters, as always. I want a snake. It will have to live in a different room from my skunk and cat. I'd better decide on a new career where I can make a lot of money so I can afford animal food. I want to go on a camel ride. I seem to want a lot of stuff. But not hamburgers. I had a hamburger - satisfied my fast food craving. Then I found out that my debit card was missing - those cads from starbucks had kept it! They were apologetic and gave it back, but didn't give me free coffee. Cads. Gadzooks! I should write bad romances so I can use words like "gadzooks" and phrases like, "strap my garters." Piffle. Yeegad. Humdudgeon. Blatherskite. Callithumpian. Gaberlunzie. Mugwump. Hmmm. Maybe I'd better write bad romances masquerading as mysteries so people will have a chance of understanding obscure vocabulary and big words.